The Struggle Continues

Have you ever wanted to SCREAM when you were talking to someone about a particular struggle that you are having

AND…

They tell you that everything will be okay, “You just have to hang in there?”

People tell us struggling builds character.

People tell us struggle makes us better leaders, better people.

They tell us struggling is good for us.

People tell us struggling has lessons for us, lessons we cannot learn any other way.

They say struggle reveals valuable truths about perseverance and how much we value what we value.

 People tell us struggling helps us become stronger.

 

But I can’t help but ask myself these questions:

 

Could we become stronger without struggling?

Could we ever dream of becoming a leader without first learning to struggle?

What would a person be like who never struggled?

If struggling helps us become stronger, does the lack of struggling make us weaker?

Even Christ himself came here and experienced struggle!

So what is it EXACTLY, that we are supposed to learn from our struggles?

Maybe the answer lies in this powerful quote from Maya Angelou.

BUT…

If we are being honest…

Most of us DO NOT see a potential struggle as a positive opportunity.

struggle

 

We may say we appreciate a good competition…

But  I think what we really enjoy is winning.

 

For most of us, a “GOOD” struggle is one from which we emerge victorious.

 

For most of us, When we are looking forward to our future…
The thing we are dreaming about is NOT our next struggle,

BUT…

We are dreaming of the day when we can finally put struggling behind us.

 

 

With all that being said however, I have to admit that the leaders who inspire me have learned how to appreciate the gifts of struggling.

They work hard to be their best, and even harder to learn the lessons struggling has for them.

They see a “GOOD” struggle as the one, that has somehow managed to teach them a valuable lesson.

And then a good leader will immediately begin to put those lessons to work for them in their own lives.

The leaders who inspire us have shown us how struggles shape us.

They help us face struggles that may seem insurmountable.

They help us find the strength our struggles have built into us.

They show us why and how we can embrace our struggles.

Without struggles, we would not be the people we are today.

Here is one truth I have learned in my own life:

Even if struggle may not seem necessary,

It’s lesson is almost ALWAYS helpful.

Can you look back over your life and identify those pivotal moments when struggle changed who you were for the better?

The moment that changed everything for me was when I got the phone call to come home because something really bad had just happened.

The moment I walked in my house and saw my son’s lifeless body laying on his bed,

Was the moment
That life as I knew it ended
And a brand new world began.

In this new world, I now know how fragile life can be,

So I love deeply and with passion and purpose.

I don’t take those little moments with my loved ones for granted,

Because I have learned the hard way how quickly they can be gone forever.

This particular struggle showed me that I could survive the loss of one of the most precious treasures in life:

 

victor

My own child.

I found my strength,

my courage,

my compassion,

and my faith

during this difficult time in my life.

As I look back at that sad time in my life,

I wish I could just sit with my sweet boy one more time and tell him how much his death taught me.

I would give anything to have him back with me.

But I know that is not possible,

So I have learned how to have the next best thing.

I have learned how to take the worst tragedy of my life and create miracles out of it.

In that way, I can honor the beautiful person that Victor was,

And hopefully in the process help others to see that there is life after the death of a loved one.

 

I hate having to struggle.

We all do!

It is up to us to find the lessons in our struggles and then use those lessons to improve our lives.

 

 

 

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To my Sweet Child…

I have entered a brand new phase in my journey through motherhood.

I am now the mother of an adult child!

me and tyler 1

 

 

 

 

Actually I have been for two years now,
but…
lately it seems that I have finally “accepted” the fact that my oldest child is a twenty year old man.

That realization has brought on a whole new set of questions for me to ponder.

How do I help and offer guidance to him now that he is an adult who is capable of making his own decisions?

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But the real challenge for me has been wondering if I really conveyed to him just how special and wonderful he really is to me.

Does he know how much he means to me?

Did I teach him enough about consequences to allow him to make good decisions for his life?

Yesterday, we had a really good talk.

I was in tears.
He was holding his back…because he is a big boy now. 

Yesterday, I just wanted him to know a few things.

I needed to make SURE that he knew what he means to me.

So, today, I am going to share a few of the things I told him yesterday.

Maybe they will help another mother who, like me, is trying to figure out how to transition from a “mom” to a “mom of adult children

Here is our conversation:

Tyler, I long for you to know the beauty I see in you.

I want you to know that you are enough just as you are.

That you are loved beyond measure and capable of anything.

I long for you to know that you are an infinite soul here simply to have the human experience, to share your gifts and find your way back home to God’s perfect love.

There is no place you need to worry about except but right here, right now.

There is no time but right now.

You chose this brave life.

You have handled your abuse like a true hero.

You are amazing.

You have arrived at adulthood in one piece, despite the many people who doubted that we could ever accomplish that feat.

Release the striving for more, YOU are the more.

Never compare yourself with others.

Because, you are not separate from your brothers and sisters, they are you and you are they and you are all  perfect, whole and complete.

We are a family.

We are ONE unit.

Release the need to judge and escape this world in favor of some realm you deem better, higher, purer.

You came here to be HERE.

So be here.

Smell every flower,

cry every tear,

touch the earth,

get messy, moved and mad.

Feel it all.

Embrace it.

Love it.

Bathe in the sensations, especially the intense ones, soak it all in, drink in the dark times as much as the delights.

Because, if there is one thing I can promise you about this world…it is that you will get hurt.

You will be betrayed.

BUT…

Taking the chance to love is worth it EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Don’t fight it.

Feel it.

It’s all life.

It’s all you.

It’s all LOVE.

Falling apart is normal.

Do not fear it.

Feel it.

Ride those waves.

Allow light, life and love to crack you open.

Embrace the unknown.

It’s okay not to know all the answers.
Do not hide who you are.

Your truth and courage will empower others in ways you cannot imagine.

Do not hide the light that can ease the darkness of this world.

Shine.

Bright.

Be brave.

You are loved.

You are not alone.

You are worthy of every blessing.

You will get through the dark times.

You are the hero of your own life.

Leave it all on the field.

Regret nothing.

Leave nothing in your heart unsaid, leave no one unloved, especially you.

And then when your day is done and you turn to look back along the path you walked and the people you loved, you will know you did this thing, with bells on, you sucked the juice out of every moment, felt it all, gave it all, loved it all.

I long for you to know the beauty I see in you, to know that you are enough just as you are, that you are loved beyond measure and capable of anything.

I long for you to know that you are an infinite soul here simply to have the human experience, to share your gifts and find your way home to love.

Being a mother has been the greatest adventure of my life.

My children have all brought with them their own special gifts that have taught me lessons about life that I probably have never learned without them there to teach me.

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I love them with a deep and tender love that can never be changed, altered, or destroyed by anything they do.
My love is forever.
My prayer is that I was a good mother to them and they I am sending them out into this world prepared to fight the good fight!

5 ways to INSTANTLY improve your life.

Would you like to FINALLY Start Giving Yourself What You Really Want?

Today I am going to give you   fail proof tips that are  to improve your life

 

 

That is a pretty big promise, but it is one that I am extremely comfortable making to you.

 

 

I have tested all of these tips in my very own life and know with out a doubt that they are powerful, and life changing.

I wanted to share them with you because the Holiday where we celebrate love is quickly approaching and if there is one thing I have discovered, it is that you CANNOT accept love from another person, if you aren’t already in love with yourself.

So today, I am giving you some powerful tips that will jump start your love life and have you ready for the BEST Valentines Day of your life.
 

It’s a little-known secret that the things that we are experiencing in life, in any given moment, are a direct reflection of what we are actually valuing in that exact same moment.

We may deny this unsettling truth.

When it comes to all of the many people and things that we are in relationship with both inwardly and outwardly, actions speak louder than words —

AND, seen or not, all actions are a CHOICE of one kind or another.

Nothing in the entire world can force us to choose to act against ourselves.

What do I mean by that?

When we   to act against ourselves, we make the  to Live in sorrow,

Live with anger,

OR refuse to let go of the regrets from a bad choice we have made.

These negative attitudes NEVER dance alone;

They must have a partner to produce their pain.

 Which brings me to this good news:

 

You can be set free from the painful embrace of any unhappy thought or feeling in the same moment you see that you have been tricked into dancing that troubled tango.

 

 I am going to now share my  TIPS so that you will have the tools you need to choose to live your life with a higher self-awareness.

That higher self awareness will naturally help you choose a dance partner that will show you how truly effortless it is to start giving yourself what you really want.

So now let’s get to those  Tips I promised you, Shall We?

TIP#1: 

When you finally want peace within yourself MORE THAN you want to feel agitated over unwanted events taking place around you… 

Then you will know the serenity for which you long.

Think about that for just a moment…

If Inner Peace is your ,

Then the little things you encounter every day will not have the ability to upset you like they did before.

You will begin to see that inside your Beautiful Day, there are small annoyances…and that is all they will be, an annoyance, nothing more.

Your day no longer needs to be ruined by a small problem that can be solved in minutes and then forgotten.

Image result for small problem

TIP #2: 

When you want to be at Ease with yourself around friends and strangers alike MORE THAN you want that uneasy feeling that comes with desperately trying to win their approval…

Then you will know the quiet self-command for which you long.

How many times have you worried yourself sick about some upcoming event?

How many times have you made yourself miserable at a party worrying about what everyone is thinking about you?

If you NEVER want that to happen again remember this one simple truth:

If you can just accept that you are doing the best you can with what you have in this moment, you will find that EASE you so badly desire.

And the bonus with this tip is that Self-Confidence is one of the sexiest qualities a human can possess. It makes you irresistible to people, so focus on liking yourself and people won’t be able to resist you!

 

TIP #3:

When you want to be patient with others MORE THAN you want to feel frustrated over their inability to please you…

Then you will enjoy the tolerance that will give you peace.

 

When someone says or does something hurtful to me, I have made it a habit to let it go the first time and just chalk it up to the fact that they were distracted or having a bad day, and it has nothing to do with me…

I do not react to someones behavior until I see that behavior repeated at least three times, then I KNOW it actually does have something to do with me.

I respond accordingly… and then I LET IT GO!

 

TIP #4: 

When you want authority over yourself MORE THAN you want the conflict that comes with trying to control others’ behavior…

Then you will know the self-control for which you long.

 self control

 

 

 

 

 

 

With this tip you simply have to acknowledge that the only person you have any control over is yourself.

PERIOD!

 

 

Let go of the need to CHANGE others, and focus on changing the one person who you can actually control…YOU!

 

TIP #5: 

When you want to bask in the fullness of the present moment MORE THAN you want the sinking feeling that you’re missing out on life…

Then you will know the unshakable sense of wholeness for which you long.

This one is !

You will NEVER have peace if you are living in the past OR the future.

Life is made beautiful by the little things that are happening RIGHT NOW, and if you are missing out on those, your life will feel flat and meaningless.

So choose to be  and watch your life  bloom!

 

SO there you have it…

My  tips  to improve your life.

Go out and start getting yourself ready for the BEST Valentines Day ever!

 

Is it all a bad dream…OR is this REALLY Life?

Have you ever experienced one of those dreams where you are the last person alive on the planet?

Your wandering alone, hungry and afraid, with no one around to share your burden, or ease your fears.

WFD street

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I hate the way you feel when you wake up from a dream like that!

The sad thing for me is that I have actually lived for years at a time feeling THAT alone and scared.

Have you ever felt so alone that you were convinced that if you died, nobody would even notice or care?

I have!

It was never true, of course. I have the most amazing parents and siblings, and they would have noticed,

my kids would have noticed…

But I was so mired in depression that I guess, I was the one who wouldn’t have noticed.

But things are so different now for me.

Depression has lost it’s hold on my life because I now understand that we are life itself.

That understanding has literally freed me from the unconscious terror that used to permeate my life, and made me feel so alone.

If you can somehow learn to develop an awareness that you are the very breath that sustains the body that you inhabit…

You will finally be able to hear the notes that will allow you to sing your unique symphony with life’s beautiful sounds and consciously hear the music of the entire orchestra.

With self-love and discipline, comes an acceptance of life as it is, with all its imperfections and glorious moments.

This acceptance literally has the power to release you from attachment to outcome.

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Once you have experienced this level of acceptance, you no longer see people as competitors, or threats.

You stop judging their weaknesses, and start to connect with others from the heart.
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The willingness to intend, passionately, can be viewed as the compass of life.

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Yesterday, I said that our heart is God’s compass for our lives.

Print a picture of a compass and use it as a reminder that you are always loved and protected by your creator.

With faith, love and intention, your compass will always point you in the direction of your very own “TRUE NORTH”.

It can remind you of your purpose.

Viewing life from the perch of loving intention broadens your vision and frees you from the need to make others wrong in order to be right.

By living out your own individual intentions in the present moment, you WILL create the probability of future based upon our conscious desire.

One of the most extra-ordinary experiences in life is the offering and accepting of forgiveness.

This has been HUGE for me on my journey from pain to love.

Forgiveness is hands down the most restorative process that exists to help you reclaim your innocence.

In an intimate loving interchange of forgiveness, the voice of condemnation is silenced.

It can no longer torment you once you have accepted responsibility for your own actions and the result of those actions.

Because in that sacred interchange of forgiveness, shame loses its power to keep us prisoner in the fortress of our own guilt for one more minute.

We are set free to love and be loved once more.

It REALLY is a privilege to offer forgiveness to another.

I understand better than most how difficult it can be to even CONSIDER forgiving a person who has abused you and caused irreparable damage to your soul.

But I beg you to trust me when I say:

In the giving of forgiveness you will receive the joy of liberation from judgment and guilt for your own contribution to any painful situation.

The universe celebrates every prodigal child who has returned from the self imposed exile of judgment.

When I was able to extend forgiveness to the men who had abused me, I found myself feeling almost as if I was a participant in some strange cosmic celebration.

My freedom from guilt and shame was GLORIOUS!

I then realized that the more I forgave, then more I was able to celebrate, and the more joyful I become.

In the past, I was the one who had made life very complicated.

I had allowed one bad choice to lead to others, and before I knew it I was mired in abuse and pain.

Back then the task of remembering that I was “life itself”, with the creative energy to intend miracles or heartache, seemed so daunting.

But forgiveness reconnected me to my roots and I now want to share this truth with you today:

It is so vitally important for you to be willing to take this restorative process of reclaiming your innocence one moment at a time.

Start by forgiving yourself for the choices you made that have led you to this place of pain.

Once you have begun the process of forgiving yourself, the next step of forgiving others is not quite as difficult as it once seemed.

And always Remember to celebrate each step you take along the road to recovery.

You are not alone, there are millions of others walking right beside you on this journey we call LIFE!

Life.*

As I was contemplating what I was going to write about today, it occurred to me that most of my posts are about the lessons I have learned during my lifetime.

I share them with you, from my heart, in hopes that my words can somehow make life easier for those who read my blog everyday.

That’s when it hit me…

I have over 2,000 followers that have found my content worth reading on a regular basis.

I have been published in a book where I shared the power of Love to heal our lives.

(“Love Heals” by Mary Tupy)

I have been asked to be a featured speaker at several events…

And all of this would NEVER have been possible if I had never taken the chance and began to open my heart up to total strangers!

So today I want all of you to know how important it is to NEVER underestimate the power of your heart.

Be bold.

Be daring.

Be courageous—shatter the mold.

Be your Self.

The world needs you.

You are Infinite.

You know this… yes?

You feel it in your bones.

Now, make it your reality.

Let your Highest Self dance in every ordinary moment and especially in those precious sacred times we all experience..

The same way I have learned to do…

By opening yourself to Wholeness, unashamed and unafraid.

Let others see your scars.

 

Know that you have valuable lessons to offer to the world.

Offer them in love, not judgement or condemnation,

Just be willing to share because that very willingness just might make life beautiful for someone you have never even met.

Allow your divinity to move into the moment and watch as it transforms your life, simply through your observation.

Have you ever played in the ocean and allowed yourself to act like those lazy seals?

They lay wherever they find a perch and just absorb all that glorious sunshine.

Have you ever allowed yourself to soak up the nourishing beams of divine light that is coming from the sun to just seep into your skin—it feels amazing!

Play in nature as often as you possibly can!

It will give new birth to that innocent child that still lives inside of you.

 

One of the greatest miracles that I discovered once I allowed my heart to be open and free was…

That my higher self had this amazing ability to transform my life.

Give your Highest Self permission to transform you.

If you give your Highest Self free reign over of your life, you will be handed creation in return.

Nearly eight years ago, I wrote a letter to my future husband.

In that letter I thanked him for everything he was. 

It was my intention at the time I wrote that letter to create the perfect situation where the man I was describing in that letter would cross paths with me, and we would meet and fall in love.

It took over 8 years to happen…but it did happen. Jeff is exactly like the future husband I wrote to all those years ago.

me and jeff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So from that experience, I learned that the genius behind this manifesting universe was, “Me in partnership with God.”

The trick to unleashing this power of co-creation lies in your ability to COMPLETELY surrender to the power and love of God.

The surrender is internal.

 

We all carry the spark of the divine within us.

God is the best parts of you that you are longing to be.

Enlightenment is the freedom that you crave so intensely, you can taste it…

It’s the embrace that no earthly lover (alone) can satisfy.

Let God’s love run rampant in your life.

Then sit back and watch as life gives you so many things to love, and be grateful for.

Speak aloud the permission for God to break down every boundary you have set up in a vain attempt to protect yourself.

If God could create this world, don’t you think it only makes sense to trust Him with your life?

Demand infinite love to forge new paths.

Like a great forest fire,

let this love burn through obstacles currently hindering your life.

 

If you do, I promise you… you will wake up and realize the options are limitless.

Then, with fresh eyes beaming with devotion and clarity, allow your heart to move you through this world.

Your heart is God’s compass.

You will feel as infinity feels (within this human body.)

Don’t be ashamed that you are human, or feel imperfect—that you live in a society with many injustices, and so few solutions.

Simply love your small self like a mother loves her child: with great care and acceptance.

Once you learn this self-love you will become a lighthouse for the people who cross your path.

You will have the internal strength to shift the tides in your life.
Then you will begin to experience every moment of human life with Presence and care.

You will have discovered how to feel the emotions echoing in your body, and be free to allow these powerful feelings to be honored and felt.

Watch as these feelings become the formless dance you have committed to with Divinity.

Allow them to move you, un-judged.

For once you have felt the range of human emotions you can look at the lives of others with unyielding compassion and understanding.

Meditate, pray and unplug from collective un-consciousness as much as you are able.

Then share what you have learned with as many people as you can, because then, in some small way you are contributing to the healing of our world.

Be diligent.

Be balanced.

Awaken yourself first.

The rest will follow.

Have a Terrific Tuesday.

Talk to you again soon!

Someday is NOT a Day on the Calendar…

“Someday is not on the calendar.”

whatever your doing right now and really let that thought sink deeply into your consciousness.

Someday Will NEVER EVER arrive.

It is an illusion. 

Granted…

It is probably the most powerful,

destructive,

live altering

Illusion that has ever been created.

But it is still an illusion nonetheless. 

 

Since 2006, 

“Someday is not on the calendar.”

 

has become my motto.

 

I will never forget the day that I lost my son.

I can still tell you exactly what the temperature was that day.         I remember exactly what I ate,

and can still to this day recall with perfect clarity every single thing I did that day.

That moment in time is forever frozen in my mind.

For any of you who have experienced that death of a loved one, or our perhaps your own near-death,

You will know exactly what I mean when I say that,

“Those kind of experiences will always offer you a  new perspective on what truly matters… and what is simply irrelevant or insignificant.”

The death of my child has served as an acute reminder of both life’s fragility and unpredictability as well as a powerful note to self” that:

While our dreams have no expiration date…

Our physical time on this earth does!

I no longer wait for       to pursue what really matters.

Near-death experiences can be extreme wake up calls…
And…
I don’t want to sleep through the alarm.

The TIME,

to make TIME, 

For the people,

causes

or work you truly care about is always .

 

 

Here are 7 of my favorite ways to live fully:

1) Discover Divinity.

The day that I realized that I actually was loved and supported by God, was the same day that I truly began to heal from the pain and abuse of my past.

I knew in that moment of clarity that I would never have to walk alone on my journey through this life because I was supported and loved by the God of ALL creation.

And that one realization changed EVERYTHING in my life. 

 

 

2) Decide what’s most important to you and take action NOW.


Don’t wait for next month,

next year

or

the next decade.

Even small steps can lead to big changes… make a move toward greatness.

Your life’s work is waiting to be discovered.

So stop putting off those things that your heart is pulling you to try.

Your future happiness and fulfillment is lying dormant  inside those yearnings from your heart.

 

 

3) Schedule time for your dreams.

Book a date.

Set a deadline (even a tentative one) to meet your goal or promise.

The universe loves commitment; it implies that you are serious about taking action and then the universe will conspire to support you.

My favorite story of this practice is the one Jim Carey tells about writing a check for 10,000,000.00 to himself.

The story goes that before Jim Carrey was famous, he walked up to the Hollywood Hills and wrote a check to himself for ten million dollars. On the memo line, he wrote, “For Services Rendered.” For years he carried that check in his wallet, pulling it out occasionally to keep his dream clearly visible in his mind.

Now he’s one of the highest-paid entertainers in the industry, getting well over twenty million dollars for just one film.

 

4) Notice synchronicity and act on opportunities.


Once you move toward what you love and “follow your bliss”, as Joseph Campbell said, “doors will open to you where you didn’t know they were going to be.”

Check out what’s behind those doors!

Then ALWAYS take the time to stop and Thank God for the synchronicity in your life because that is proof of His existence in your life.

 

He loves it when we give Him thanks, so do it often!

 

5) Show up.


Be there for the people, projects and passions that count. 

Action begets action;

and that requires “showing up” to do the work.

If you want to publish a book, you must show up at your desk and write.

If you want to be an entrepreneur, you must show up and run your business.

If you want to have more love you must show up and give more love.

Life is a direct reflection of your commitment to the people and things in it.

If you are lacking in any area of your life, then KNOW that your not showing up for that area in the ways you need to be.

Don’t make excuses, or try to assign blame, just be radically honest about YOUR shortcomings and then re-dedicate yourself to SHOWING UP more fully…starting RIGHT NOW!

 

6) Your future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow.


Since that life-changing year of 2006, I’ve changed so many things about myself, and my life.

I started my own business.

Become a published writer.

And have dedicated myself to creating unforgettable experiences with family and friends.

I have a deep and profound relationship with God.

And enjoy healthy, loving relationships in many areas of my life.

But before any of those dreams could become my reality…I had to CHOOSE to make them come alive through my own hard work and dedication to them.

So STOP waiting for your life to begin…Today is the BEST day to begin to fulfill your dreams!

 

7) Put your true desire(s) at the top of your To-Do list.


Your desires are yours for a reason!

And are very often (if not always) part of your purpose here.

PLUS: You need to remember, the journey (of life) should be as much fun as the destination.

So make sure that the things that are occupying most of your time…are the things that are speaking to your deepest desires in life.

Otherwise…

 

 

My crazy goals and wildest dreams have become a reality BECAUSE…
 I never for one instant allow myself to forget that:

“Someday is not on the calendar.”

The truth about our SCARS…

Today I want to talk about a very difficult subject.

This subject is particularly difficult for me to talk about because it is something that I have lived through.

Something I survived.

The thing that I want to talk about today is the  that comes from abuse.

serving-and-leading-through-brokenness-6

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I want to share with you all this amazing truth:

There is a beautiful life waiting for you on the other side of this pain you might be feeling right now.

There is someone out there who will love you so much that all the cracks you have on your heart, will be to them, just beautiful reminders of how strong and resilient you really are.

Because let’s face it:

There are days when the pain is a lot to carry.

When you honestly feel like you are literally going to break apart into a million little pieces.

And the ones who are the ones who are supposed to love you,  are the ones who end up hurting you the most.

When everything inside you wants to run
To hide
To escape.

 

And that is how you learn to cover up the pain.

But that’s not how scars work.

They run deep.

So how do you go about living a life that appears to be normal when your life is an utter mess?

For most abuse victims, we get really good at pretending that everything is okay.

But the pain doesn’t stop.

I have found out the hard way that pretending just makes it  worse.

When I was determined to “HIDE” my abuse, I was alone in every sense of the word.

I had nobody in my life that I could trust with my secret, so I carried the weight of it all by myself.

My husband just kept getting more and more cruel because there was never anyone who would question his actions.

I just suffered alone in silence…

So I thought!

But I was not the only one who was being affected by this abuse.

My children were also being hurt in ways that would forever change who and what they were.

It took the death of my sweet son to wake me up to this cold, hard truth.

Victor Miera

CLEVELAND- Victor Leon Miera, you left us too soon. But now you can be the “wizard” you were always meant to be.

Victor was very special with his unique dreams and on Sept. 18, 2006, he decided to reach for the stars and move on to a new life.

Victor was born May 27, 1992 in Payson, Utah to Samuel Victor and Rebecca Campbell Miera.

Survived by his parents, Sam (Melanie) Miera, Cleveland; mother, Rebecca Campbell, Spanish Fork; four sisters and two brothers, Carmen and Anna Miera, both of Spanish Fork; Tyler, Mina, Russel and Sarah Miera, all of Cleveland; grandparents, Sam (Mary) Miera, of St. George,
and Julia Campbell, of Salt Lake City.


I had to lose a child before I was able to see just how damaged my entire family was because of the abuse.

Ironically it was that very thing that finally gave me the courage to speak the truth about my life.

To ask for help.

To finally realize that I was not alone.

By opening up and talking to other women, I found that there were a lot of people who have been living in silence just like I was.

I discovered that other people are broken too.

And They need someone to help.

Someone who knows what it feels like

Someone who has walked through it to.

 

The pain can scar you.

But if  you let it, the pain can also change the way you look around the world.

The way you see yourself.

The way you look at other people.

Once I was finally able to speak openly about my abuse, I found that my scars were beginning to heal.

I discovered that nobody is too broken for grace.

Not even ME!

That’s what makes it GRACE!

It is a free gift that none of us earn or deserve.

It has the power to set things straight in your life.

It has the power to heal.

The power to transform.

I now know firsthand the power of community.

The blessings that can come from a friend who really cares.

And today, as we approach the holidays, I want to just let anyone out there who might need comfort know that you are NOT alone.

Take that first step outside of your comfort zone and speak to a stranger…

Or to that lady down the street or at work that you have been meaning to introduce yourself to.

Find a support group where you can let go of the pain in a supportive environment.

As I look back, I can see so clearly how it was the community that surrounded me during the time immediately following Victor’s suicide that allowed me to finally break free from the abuse, and start to live a life that was free.

A life where me and my children could begin the long and often difficult process of healing.

And as I sit here before you today, nine years later, I want to let you know that there is Hope.

There is love.

There is a beautiful life waiting for you to enjoy.

 

 

Choices!!!

If I could leave one piece of wisdom to the people on this planet before I go it would be…

That we always have a choice.

We have a choice of not only what we put in our mouths for nutrition…

But, have you taken the time to STOP and consider that you also have a CHOICE about what you put into  your minds.

You actually have a SAY in how you decide to live your life.

So much emphasis is placed on exercise and physical health, and that is indeed important.

But we have to remember our emotional/spiritual health as well.

We must choose to only accept POSITIVE THOUGHTS,

POSITIVE SELF-TALK,

And remember with every exhale we have the ability to make a different choice.

And with every choice we have the ability to create a different opportunity.

And with different opportunities comes different realities for ourselves.

Let’s think of it this way…

In the medical world if you were given a life-changing diagnosis, You would most likely get a second opinion before deciding how to proceed from here…

(Unless there is some pressing issue that must run you into the emergency room or operating room right now)

You would naturally want to  explore other options.

One of those other options might be to use alternative medicine for example.

But here again… The same thing would apply to the alternative medicine practices.

The point I am trying to make here is simply this:

There is always another method,

another person,

another philosophy

that may help you.

Sometimes we feel so stuck.

So trapped in the patterns that we have known since childhood and beyond.
but today, I want to remind you that,
in reality,
we create everything that is around us.

We can CHANGE our stress response, for example.
(since we can’t actually stop the stress).
Stress is inevitable.

Things external to ourselves, outside of our control are going to happen.

The only thing we can control is our response to that stress.

 

We do have a say in the thoughts that we have about it.

We are in complete control over our reaction to it.

This is within our ability to influence and eventually learn to  control.

And it is purely and unequivocally a choice!

So decide right now that as you move forward in your life you WILL take the risk to make a different choice and to live a different life.

I mean…

What is the point of having a bucket list that just sits there with nothing ever crossed off?

Why are you saving the good China for the special company?

Use it on everyday occasions to celebrate the opportunity to eat a meal with your loved ones.

Or the beautiful lingerie for that special night?

Why not add spice to your marriage and surprise him for no reason at all?

I know it sounds cliche…

BUT

AND

You never know when your life is going to change and you will no longer have the opportunities to do these things.

This point has been brought home to me this past year in a very powerful and often painful way.

My Dad has always been extremely active.

When I was young he usually worked two, sometimes three jobs to provide for us.

In addition to all that, he also had a 40 acre farm that needed his care.

But last year he suffered a stroke that has almost rendered him immobile.

He can still get around a little bit with the help of a cane, but he is not able to stand for more than a few minutes at a time before his legs buckle underneath him.

Watching his life change so drastically in LITERALLY one day, has been a powerful reminder to me to take each day and wring as much love, happiness and pleasure out of it as I possibly can.

I have recommitted to loving my family so well that they will NEVER have to wonder if I cared.

I perform my duties at work as if my life depended on them.

And I enjoy my hobbies and relish the fact that they are my lifeline, my passion, my joy!

 People are impressed and inspired by what I do.

And when they express that sentiment to me… I encourage them to go out and find their own passion.

I assure them that they have greatness inside of themselves too.

 

Start today to discover what one thing that is outside of your comfort zone just might be the catalyst that will propel you forward in life.

Make a different choice to live.

 

 

make choices,

create change.

 

 

If your interested in Learning some fantastic Life Lessons…Become a Parent!

If I had to stop and really decide what one factor had influenced my life the most,

I would have to say that Hands Down…

It has been BECOMING A MOTHER!

Literally EVERYTHING about the world I lived in changed the day I became a mother.

Nature was now a wondrous experience that I deeply desired to share with my child.

wisdom

 

 

 

Unconditional love was now something that I was able to comprehend and experience.

(And once you feel love that deeply it changes the way you love everyone else in your life.)

me and tyler 1

 

 

 

The one thing I know for sure is that:

If you’re interested in learning some incredible life lessons…

BECOME A PARENT!

Being a parent is filled with daily chances to learn some of life’s most important lessons.

Here are my TOP 5 Parenting Lessons:

#1: Just Go For It

The first thing I learned was that I was never going to feel prepared to have a child.

I had been married for nearly seven years before I had my first child.

I eventually realized that if I wanted children, I would simply have to take a leap of faith that it would all work out somehow.

I really had no idea what having a baby encompassed…

The never-ending work,

The inconsolable crying,

Being sleep deprived …

And falling so deeply in love that I would do whatever it took for that baby.

As a mother I have learned that when faced with those decisions of the heart that life always brings to your doorstep…
It is better not to analyze the situation too carefully before just going for it!

 

#2: Behave the Way You Want Others to Behave

When I realized how carefully my children were watching my every move and often imitating me, I was motivated to become the best role model I could be.

This lesson really hit home when my son said a naughty word at school.

I had been his only parent since he was three, so I really had nobody to blame but myself.

I went home that day determined to do a better job at being a example to my children.

Since that day I have really internalized these truths:

When I treat my children with respect and then in turn teach them to treat me with respect,

I noticed that they treated their friends and teachers with respect.

I noticed that by showing compassion to them, they showed others compassion.

I saw my behavior reflected in their behavior.

And that has kept me strong.

I want them to be amazing adults, but in order for that to happen, I need to be one myself first!

Allow children’s constant surveillance to bring out your finest behavior!

#3: Enjoy What You Have When You Have It.

Image result for live in the moment

The days are sometimes long but the years go by fast.

Nowhere is this truer than raising children.

 

When my oldest was a baby, he had problems going to sleep.

I remember how rocking my crying baby until the wee hours of the night often seemed to stretch on forever.

Yet it seems in the blink of an eye that same baby was headed off to kindergarten.

He is now a 20 yr. old man. The time literally passed before my eyes!

Here is a fun video that illustrates this point in a very clever way.

https://youtu.be/UH1x5aRtjSQ

So this is one lesson that I really cannot stress enough:
Enjoy every stage because it will be gone before you know it.
There’s no going back, so delight in every moment!

 

#4: Seek Wise Guidance

 

wise council

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting is challenging in many ways.

However, there is a lot of help available.

There’s no need to reinvent the wheel or go it alone.

By reaching out to other parents I learned that almost everyone is struggling with similar issues.

By reading books, taking classes and attending seminars, I learned effective parenting skills.

My own mother was a valuable resource in parenting. Her help and assistance was literally my lifeline.

I have also found that other people are usually happy to share what they’ve learned when asked!

We all love to talk about our children.

Every mother understands the need to give their child the very best, so ask for help.
You will be amazed at how willing other mothers will be to help you when asked.

#5: Focus on Long Term Results.

Parenting can sometimes be tricky because what works in the short term may cause problems later on.

For example, bribing children with candy to leave you alone when you’re on the phone may work in the short term but it will also encourage more interruptions in the future.

 

 

Avoid short cuts that lead to undesirable long term results.

The relationships we develop with our children affect us for the rest of our lives.

There are loving parents who bent over backwards for their children only to have adult children who treat them poorly.

We teach our children how to treat us; let’s teach them to treat us well.

I always try to remember that I am not just raising my child, I am actually raising the adult who will be the parent of my grandchildren.
The time and energy put into parenting pays back for the rest of your life!

 

Those are the                  lessons I have learned so far.

But I think the one thing we can all agree on is this: Parenthood is not easy; the challenges we must rise above are many.

But its rewards are undoubtedly great, especially when we view parenthood as a spiritual experience.

Being a parent is unique in that it provides so many opportunities for spiritual growth.

Children… they can make you go insane with impatience.

They will push you to the brink of unimaginable physical exhaustion.

They can make your heart burst with love.

And they can bring you together with other people in ways never previously thought possible.

I want to end today with one of my very favorite quotes by Angela Schwindt.

FEAR is your friend…NO- really it is!

I write a lot about FEAR in my posts.

I am constantly encouraging you to overcome it.
Trust it.
Learn from it.
But I have never written a post that was dedicated entirely to the subject of FEAR.
I want to do that today because… Fear is not your enemy. Fear is your friend.

True peace came to me in my life when I finally understood that I was strong enough to handle anything life choose to throw at me.

Overcoming Fear became a whole lot easier when I discovered my Faith, and developed a relationship with my Savior.

In fact, one of the things I am the most grateful for in my life is the fact that at the age of 43, I can honestly say that I am ready to face life’s challenges head on because I have discovered so many beautiful truths about fear, and today I will share a few of them with you.

1st truth: Embrace Fear.

When you can learn to welcome it and push past it you can finally find your true destiny waiting for you on the other side.

Life will begin to OPEN up for you.

The things that once held you back will no longer have any power over you.

 

2nd truth: All growth springs forth from venturing out into the unknown.

Out there beyond those fateful frontiers of the limits you have placed on yourself lives your greatness.

The infinite possibilities available to you in life lie waiting for you in uncharted territory.

You simply have to choose to embark upon that voyage.

 

3rd Truth: To get everything you want in life, you must be willing to do something you have never done and be someone you have never been.

Where you are in your life right now is a result of the choices you have made in the past.

And you will continue getting what you have gotten unless you do something bold.

Something new.

Whether it be scuba diving,

Writing a book,

Running a marathon

Or asking a friend for a date…

I want you to go out there and do something that makes those butterflies in your stomach go wild.

This action does not need to directly relate to your life goals.

I have found that the action itself  is just kind of like a metaphor for my limitless potential.

Every inch I have decided to step out into the unknown has built a more rock solid, unbreakable spirit inside of me that cannot and will not be shattered.

 

4th Truth: Self confidence results from successfully having survived a risk.

 

Thus the form of the risk matters less than the actual level of courage it requires to face it.

The greater the required amount of courage, The greater the rewards on the other side.

As C.S. Lewis said, “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.”

5th Truth: Any worthy risk will induce fear.

fear

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is only natural.
Expect it, so you don’t let it stop you.

Then embrace your only freedom:

The only true freedom we can ever experience as humans can be found inside the space that lies between any stimulus you might encounter in life…and your response to it.

By choosing to focus on the pleasure that is waiting for you on the other side of fear, you shut down the influence of the “possibility of pain”  that is standing right next to you before you take that leap of faith.

That single choice is the spark of courage.

 

6th Truth: It takes courage in the face of fear, to take a leap into something magnificent.

Each step through fear pushes your comfort zone out one inch further.

This constant process of mental, physical, spiritual and physical growth transforms success from uncertainty to inevitability.

As a result of the compound effect of those incremental steps over time, you will achieve a level of self confidence that will make you unstoppable in the face of any challenge that comes your way.

7th Truth: The only enemy you have is your choice to be paralyzed by fear.

Should you remain stagnant though, you will continue floating down a lazy river that leads to nowhere. And that is definitely once choice you are free to make in life.

 

Because…

If, on the other hand,

You DO choose to live your greatness,

You will most likely find yourself right smack dab in the middle of the raging rapids of life,

 

you will hit rocks.

You may get hurt…

Rest assured, as long as you aim for the stars, life will beat you down.

You will encounter failure.

I don’t say this to discourage you from trying…quite the opposite actually!

When you face your fears and overcome them, the unbreakable spirit that will emerge after being completely tested and forged in the fires of facing fear will guide you through every obstacle that life will throw at you, and propel you into your divine purpose.

8th Truth: Today, at this moment, you get to choose your destiny by taking that first step.