I have entered a brand new phase in my journey through motherhood.
I am now the mother of an adult child!
Actually I have been for two years now,
lately it seems that I have finally “accepted” the fact that my oldest child is a twenty year old man.
That realization has brought on a whole new set of questions for me to ponder.
How do I help and offer guidance to him now that he is an adult who is capable of making his own decisions?
But the real challenge for me has been wondering if I really conveyed to him just how special and wonderful he really is to me.
Does he know how much he means to me?
Did I teach him enough about consequences to allow him to make good decisions for his life?
Yesterday, we had a really good talk.
I was in tears.
He was holding his back…because he is a big boy now.
Yesterday, I just wanted him to know a few things.
I needed to make SURE that he knew what he means to me.
So, today, I am going to share a few of the things I told him yesterday.
Maybe they will help another mother who, like me, is trying to figure out how to transition from a “mom” to a “mom of adult children“
Here is our conversation:
Tyler, I long for you to know the beauty I see in you.
I want you to know that you are enough just as you are.
That you are loved beyond measure and capable of anything.
I long for you to know that you are an infinite soul here simply to have the human experience, to share your gifts and find your way back home to God’s perfect love.
There is no place you need to worry about except but right here, right now.
There is no time but right now.
You chose this brave life.
You have handled your abuse like a true hero.
You are amazing.
You have arrived at adulthood in one piece, despite the many people who doubted that we could ever accomplish that feat.
Release the striving for more, YOU are the more.
Never compare yourself with others.
Because, you are not separate from your brothers and sisters, they are you and you are they and you are all perfect, whole and complete.
We are a family.
We are ONE unit.
Release the need to judge and escape this world in favor of some realm you deem better, higher, purer.
You came here to be HERE.
So be here.
Smell every flower,
cry every tear,
touch the earth,
get messy, moved and mad.
Feel it all.
Bathe in the sensations, especially the intense ones, soak it all in, drink in the dark times as much as the delights.
Because, if there is one thing I can promise you about this world…it is that you will get hurt.
You will be betrayed.
Taking the chance to love is worth it EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Don’t fight it.
It’s all life.
It’s all you.
It’s all LOVE.
Falling apart is normal.
Do not fear it.
Ride those waves.
Allow light, life and love to crack you open.
Embrace the unknown.
It’s okay not to know all the answers.
Do not hide who you are.
Your truth and courage will empower others in ways you cannot imagine.
Do not hide the light that can ease the darkness of this world.
You are loved.
You are not alone.
You are worthy of every blessing.
You will get through the dark times.
You are the hero of your own life.
Leave it all on the field.
Leave nothing in your heart unsaid, leave no one unloved, especially you.
And then when your day is done and you turn to look back along the path you walked and the people you loved, you will know you did this thing, with bells on, you sucked the juice out of every moment, felt it all, gave it all, loved it all.
I long for you to know the beauty I see in you, to know that you are enough just as you are, that you are loved beyond measure and capable of anything.
I long for you to know that you are an infinite soul here simply to have the human experience, to share your gifts and find your way home to love.
Being a mother has been the greatest adventure of my life.
My children have all brought with them their own special gifts that have taught me lessons about life that I probably have never learned without them there to teach me.
I love them with a deep and tender love that can never be changed, altered, or destroyed by anything they do.
My love is forever.
My prayer is that I was a good mother to them and they I am sending them out into this world prepared to fight the good fight!