There may be no greater self-destructive act than to know, or to even suspect that what you’re doing is wrong for you (and everyone else), and then to continue to act as though you don’t know that truth.
Today I want to talk about an issue that has been a central theme for most of my life:
Before I was ever going to be successful in ending the pattern of abuse in my life,
I had to first realize,
Accept the fact that I had gotten really good at telling stories.
The single most important thing I have had to learn to do as a victim of abuse was to learn how to “End the Pattern of the Storyteller”.
If any of you have ever had the misfortune of loving an abusive person,
whether they were
Or a friend,
You will know what I mean when I say that as the victims of abuse, we get really good at telling stories to cover up the abuse.
When I was young, every once in awhile, I would be off playing with friends and we would decide to try a new thing…
I usually knew that I would probably get into trouble.
But I did it anyway.
My parents would find out, and there would be a “CONVERSATION”…
And what does a child usually do when called accountable before “the powers that be”?
Now, there I was, starting to tell my story… talking and talking.
But because parents are always smarter than we give them credit for, my mother would always cut the whole thing short by saying:
“End of story!”
Have you ever been with somebody who just starts going on and on-
You know that they are telling you a “story”
They are doing this for one of two reasons…
#1: It is either to protect themselves,
#2: to attempt to convince you of something?
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who is actually abusing themselves or you?
(If so… I know that you can almost hear the storyteller starting to speak in your mind, can’t you?)
Once I finally started to become aware of this pattern in my life, I then had to begin the long, and often difficult, process of making amends.
I had to begin to correct the lies I had been telling for years.
I was able to do this by taking a brave new action.
I started to think inwardly:
End of story!
I would imagine my Mothers voice and the look on her face each and every time I started to tell a story,
Even when I found myself participating in someone else’s story.
I began to inwardly tell myself:
“END OF STORY!”
I started to use the motivation that in the past, had been to protect myself by telling stories,
And instead started to use that same incentive to insist that I would be FREE from the stories that were holding me prisoner.
I discovered that I needed to risk what I must in order to help myself to see that I was not only lying to myself, by telling my story, but I was also harming everyone else who listened to my stories as well.
I also discovered that:
No story starts inside our minds without a contraction first.
There’s always a reaction…
Some form of stress.
The instant that I would catch the contraction within myself, I would come wide-awake:
And say again…
“End of story”!
Then, I would release it.
So what is the pay off of adopting this practice of brutal honesty?
I you that if you will begin to demand honesty from yourself…
you will find yourself smack dab in the moment where life is literally bringing to you everything that you need in order to go through a miraculous change in yourself…
This change will come about because you’re no longer identified with the parts of you that are trying to protect themselves.
Your now having the courage to risk exposure,
(if that is what it takes,)
To free yourself from the abuse in your past.
We know this is true, don’t we?
Then why is it so hard to catch, and then stop, the storyteller?
The storyteller is nearly impossible to catch because it has a certain way of keeping itself hidden.
The brilliant disguise it hides behind is the fact that the LIE is the storyteller itself.
It isn’t what it’s telling you!
The lie is simply that instinct we all possess,
whose brilliant position in any moment of pain is to present itself as
knowing who you are,
why you are the way you are,
and what to do to get out of there.
But the truth is… it doesn’t know, does it?
The reality is that the lie that you have been using to protect yourself…
Is the very thing that has held you prisoner.
It has abolished your freedom in millions of painful ways.
But you have continued to protect it out of the fear that the truth might destroy your fragile world.
If you are ever going to succeed at ending this cycle of abuse in your life, You are going to have to become ruthless with yourself.
Start by catching that STORY the minute it starts in you.
In that split second of feeling yourself getting angry,
Or falling into a pit,
Or getting depressed,
Or finding more reasons to be angry,
“Oh, there it is. I didn’t know I was on fire, but there it is. Okay.”
And you bring yourself back into this raw presence — into this awareness where it becomes evident that you were being misled by yourself…
And then… You give yourself up.
Do this enough.
See the truth of this enough times.
And it will literally become second nature.
Because, in truth, HONESTY IS our FIRST nature.
It’s the action of who and what we are…
Honesty really will set you free.
You will be FREE- because you stopped taking part in the STORY that was creating the prison of this pattern in your life.
END OF STORY!