I was listening to the radio the other day as I drove down the highway with my sweet husband.
The lyrics to a song said, ” I want to learn to live with no regrets.”
That hit me in a very powerful way.
I turned to Jeff and said, “That is EXACTLY what I would wish for if I had one wish I could make.”
Then he said something pretty profound to me.
He said, “But Mel, the regrets are what have shaped you into the woman I fell in love with. They taught you what things you DIDN’T want in life and pushed you to find new and better ways to live. Your regrets are your greatest teacher, why would you want to get rid of such a great gift?”
You know what?
He was completely right.
If I had never felt regret and remorse over the choices I had made that had led me to the painful circumstances in my life, I would never have had the will power to change anything.
So today I want to talk about living our life from a place of love and acceptance
over who we were.
Who we are now,
And who we will eventually become.
As I sat and reflected on my life this morning I realized that I regret not so much the choices that I make, but the choices that I don’t have the courage to make.
I am not unhappy with the things that I’ve done, as much as I mourn for all the things I haven’t done.
I no longer fret over the “mistakes” made, because now I see them more as magnificent life lessons.
Inside each and ever one of my mistakes lies the potential for either regret, or growth and development, and I alone decide which one will bear fruit in my life.
As a young woman, I wanted to be the center of attention.
But as I have gotten older I’ve learned to allow myself to become, more and more, the witness and the witnessed, the seer and the seen, the observer and the observed.
I enjoy sitting back and letting others have the spotlight.
I have found the spotlight can be exhausting, and there is rest in the shadows where I can sit quietly and just watch.
And I’ve learned to do this with a minimum of judgment.
(Although not with no judgment, for there was tremendous judgment in simply learning to observe without judgment.)
If I had to leave one sentiment with the world upon my death it would be this:
What matters is that we learn to love others,
and interact with others in a way that allows them to experience this love.
You know when you have arrived at this place of love because your life itself is a testament to Christ.
You now know that you can do this even when argument or conflict arises and the setting doesn’t appear, on the surface, to be the most conducive to expressing love.
True love is a state of being.
We were all born with the light of Christ inside of us, although we may not always be conscious of it.
I’ve learned not to focus on the results, but rather on the process.
I have found that when I focus on specific results,
such as the money as a result of a job,
OR a specific outcome from a project I have created,
The most I will ever attain is that on which my human, conscious, limited, educated mind can focus.
I lose the joy of creating when I worry about results.
When I worry about how many “views” my blog has gotten for example, I lose the joy of writing the post.
Yet when I am able to focus instead on the process, that part of creating something worthwhile…
that makes my hearts sing,
And the results – those which I’ve dreamed of and those I didn’t even know I could create – manifest most exquisitely as if out of thin air.
I’ve learned that we tend to make our choices either from fear or from love.
We can’t give a gift we are unwilling to accept ourselves.
We cannot stand in fear protecting ourselves and then hope that we can magically move from that fear based thinking into love and have the ability to offer the world the gift of our unique talents.
We cannot demand that our need for control be met by everyone and then simultaneously say that we support freedom and choices, and offer love.
Surrender is the greatest gift you can give yourself and the people you love.
It is the freedom that comes from letting go of the need for control and allowing yourself to exist in the elegant simplicity of being the seer and the seen, the witness and the witnessed, the observer and the observed.