Have you ever given much thought to the “I”
that other people see?
We can assess our own self-image by looking at the people around us.
We form relationships with people who treat us the way we believe we deserve to be treated.
People with healthy self-images demand to be respected by those close to them.
They treat themselves well, and so set an example to other people as to how they should be treated.
When I was struggling with this issue myself, I had such a bad self-image that I was willing to put up with all kinds of garbage and abuse from just about everybody.
In the back of my mind I was bullied with thoughts like, ” I don’t matter much.”, “It’s only me”, and “I have always been treated badly, perhaps, I deserve it somehow.”
I wondered constantly, “How long will I have to put up with this?”
The answer was…
As long as I was content to have a low opinion of myself, I was going to be treated as if I was low.
I have come to understand that people REALLY do
treat us the way we treat ourselves.
Those with whom we associate with quickly assess whether we respect ourselves or not, and if we respect ourselves, the will follow suit…
BUT the flip side of that coin is also true…
When we don not respect ourselves, neither will anyone else!
I have learned the hard way to demand fair treatment from my friends, family, co-workers, etc.
It has only been very recently that I took the initiative to approach my boss and demand the respect I deserve for the work that I do.
I had to realize for myself that when I make a stand…people will respond!
Let’s look at it this way, imagine you are in charge of a three-month old baby.
At feeding time, would you feed the baby with no strings attached?
Of course you would!
You won’t say, “Ok kid…unless you can do something smart, witty, or unless you can sit up and sing your ABC’s, or make me laugh, you don’t get a drink!”
You feed the baby because it DESERVES to be fed.
It deserves love, care and fair treatment.
It deserves all that because, like you,it is a human being, a part of the universe.
YOU DESERVE EXACTLY THE SAME!
YOU DESERVED IT WHEN YOU WERE BORN.
YOU DESERVE IT NOW!
Too many people get the idea that unless they are as clever or as smart or as handsome or as highly paid or as sporty or as witty as other people they know, they are undeserving of love and respect.
YOU DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT JUST
BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU !
Too rarely do most of us focus on our real inner beauty and our inner strengths.
Do you recall watching “Boy meets Girl” movies?
As the boy and girl would struggle through thick and thin, you hoped and prayed the whole time that everything would work out.
He went to war, or she left home,
he came back, she was gone,
he found her, her brother told him to get lost, she told him to get lost,
and all the time you hoped that they would live happily ever after.
They were married and strolled off into the sunset as the curtain went down.
You dried your tears and clutching your empty popcorn bucket, strolled out of the theater.
We cry at those movies, because at our deepest level, WE CARE.
There is that inner core in all of us which is simply
Depending on how much we have been hurt, we will expose our deepest feelings, but we all share these qualities.
Think about how you feel as you watch a news story about the suffering of people around the world.
We all ache inside for them.
Each of us may have a different view as to how they can be helped, but the point is…
WE ALL CARE!
That is the way we are.
Accept that you have these qualities… the capacity to love and empathize and be human.
You are not ONLY human.
YOU ARE HUMAN.
Recognize your own self-worth and constantly remind
yourself that you deserve to be treated well!
I have shared my perspective on the story of Rapunzel before, and I feel that this is a really good time to share it again.
I use the story of Rapunzel as a powerful teaching tool for my children because like many of the fairy tales, Rapunzel has a deeper meaning to it.
It is a story about self-image.
Rapunzel is a young lady who lives locked up in a tower, imprisoned by an old witch who constantly tells her how ugly she is.
One day, a handsome Prince passes by the tower and tells Rapunzel of her incredible loveliness.
She lets down her long, flowing, golden hair, so he may climb her hair and rescue her.
It is neither the castle nor the witch that has kept her a prisoner.
She had been help captive by her belief in her own ugliness.
Once she was able to recognize her beauty, that had been reflected back to her in the face of her Prince Charming, she was finally able to see that she could be set free.
We all need to be aware of the witch or witches inside of ourselves that are stopping us from breaking free.
We must all work continually to maintain our positive self-image.
Change is difficult. The action of a poor self-image is always to keep on doing what it has always done…
A huge step forward in self-improvement
is to learn to let down your own hair
and rescue your own self from the witch that has kept you captive
and prevented you from living your very own “Happily Ever