“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”
What is the first step in designing a better life for yourself?
You need to decide to love and accept yourself COMPLETELY,
I have discovered that too many women ignore their own needs to the point where they define themselves based solely on the world around them.
By doing this, you’re overlooking the central thing that makes you important: being YOU.
In my Post, “The Art of Surrender: Part two of Surrendering to your unique Beauty.” I talked about how in order for us to love God and our neighbors, we first need to learn how to love ourselves.
I am going to continue to expand on that a little bit more today.
If you are ready to get to the place where you are living a vibrant life full of satisfaction you need to decide that you are worthy of such a life.
I totally get that it is not an easy thing to do – especially given the pressures we are under these days.
But never-the-less, we all need more love, and in order to give and receive that love, we first need to make sure that the “Well” is full.
The thing is, getting there requires a different road than what you might think.
Because sadly, just about all of us have been “programmed” to think we should look like that retouched image of a size-zero model.
After all, she’s the one in all the television programs and commercials; she’s that happy face on the billboard by the freeway who tells us we need to look like her to be happy.
But contentment isn’t found in a jar of beauty cream or the latest diet craze…it comes from within.
We live in a day and age where more doors are open to us than ever before.
Women constantly exceed the status quo, from landing high-power executive positions to excelling at professional sports to being part of teams of scientists who go all the way to the moon.
Women are nurturers, caretakers, multi-taskers, and over-achievers.
They can make a costume for their child’s school play,
bake cookies for a charity rummage sale,
paint a bedroom,
plan the family’s vacation,
create a business plan for a retail website,
plan a week’s worth of meals…
and that’s just in the first few hours of a day!
The list goes on and on.
We’re expected to be shapely and graceful,
to birth our babies and quickly lose the weight,
to grow wise over time but never show a sign of wrinkling,
to be loving and instructive to others without coming across as bossy or bitchy.
I’m not going to sugarcoat it:
There’s hardly any balance between the expectations lavished on women and the reality of what’s possible.
That is why learning to love and accept yourself is crucial if you want to thrive in this fast paced world of ours.
Trying to improve any area of your life is virtually impossible unless you do one very important and too-often ignored thing.
And the first step to getting there is… You have to choose yourself.
We all have our own set of unique circumstances and experiences.
What is true for one, may not be true for another.
In order to love ourselves, we need to also understand where we came from, and why we were created in the first place.
I believe that God created women with a specific purpose in mind.
You see… as women, we are remarkable in our ability to meet the needs of others.
We are capable, competent, smart, and motivated.
But too often, we let our self-doubt hold us back from the great strides we were born to make.
We judge ourselves, second-guess our choices, and doubt our intuition.
When we feel capable of rising up to accomplish something, we let the impostor-syndrome cloud our view…
Ever heard of it – the impostor syndrome?
That’s what happens when things start to go well for you, but instead of feeling proud or satisfied, you worry you’re a fraud.
Self-doubt convinces you that good things only happen because you luck out, or that the forces of the universe align for a brief instant to give you what you want.
So you chalk it up to chance, because no way could something truly fantastic happen because you made it happen!
Am I right?
I hope you’ll agree with me – that line of thinking is wrong, wrong, wrong!
But just about all of us are guilty of it at one point or another.
Think about it.
If every woman in every town rose up to her full potential and set her sights on improving all the things in the world that need attention…
can you imagine the positive change that would take place?
I like to think that’ll happen.
But to get to that point, the answer isn’t to reach out to the world, or to your community, or even your family.
Not first, anyway. If you want to enact true, positive change – the kind that means a happier life for you and your loved ones, then you have to choose yourself.
Yesterday, I said I was going to work on finding the courage to face my Bully, I know that I will never succeed at that task until I decide that I am worthy of fair treatment.
No matter what our current challenge is, loving ourselves will give us the courage to face that challenge head on.
I challenge you to take this first step in enacting positive, lifelong change and creating the life you desire:
Acknowledge that you are visible, you deserve to be heard, and that going forward, you will not waver in seeking your own truth.
You’ll shuck off everything society tells you to be, you’ll ignore the way you’re “supposed” to look, and you’ll pursue your own truth.
Remember that ALL of you is BEAUTIFUL!